Belonging...

All of us, every single one of us, has the need ingrained in our beings, to belong to something, somewhere, someone. We may try to deny it, to others, to ourselves, try to prove our independence, but the truth is--and here I quote someone wiser than me-- no man is an island and I add: no matter how much he tries to fool himself.


Why am I talking about this?

Maybe is because I'm moving out of my house (yes, once again!) and I'm not sure I want to move into my next house (already found it) because I'm thinking it would be a better use of my money to travel instead of pay rent.

But why is it that the simple thought of not having a house terrifies me?

Strange, isn't it?

I guess the whole "leaving/not leaving" story made my heart fly away to someplace new, and now I don't feel like I belong in the old one. It's hard to leave... but it's even harder to come back when you haven't really left. I guess this Brazilian song says it best: "You're the only one who has the cure for my vice of insisting in missing terribly all that I haven't seen yet."

I definitely have that vice... but haven't found the one who has the cure yet.

About giving up...

Some people are quitters. I'm not. That makes giving up on anything a very hard thing to do... but sometimes you just have to weigh the pros and cons of a situation, admit that it's not worth it, and lay down your weapons... and deal with the disappointment that ensues...


That's what I did today.

I don't like it, I'm not happy about it, but I know it's what I have to do...

So I guess it's time for plan B...

Confusion

This is going to sound strange... but I am a firm believer in Law. Without laws, the world would be chaos and it would make our lives a lot more complicated.

However, the whole concept of law also implies that you can't follow it if you do not know it. Of course, it is your responsibility to find out and behave accordingly, but that implies that the authorities themselves know the law and can advise you.

The worse cases of law ignorance I have encountered, for some reason, always have to do with immigration. Example:

Last week I found out that as a Brazilian in Argentina, I could have gone to the immigration department HERE and requested residency, paying the total sum of $300 pesos. However, the Argentinian EMBASSY in Brazil had misinformed me and for that reason I believed that I had to 1) Go to Brazil, 2)Run around like a fool for a week gathering documents, 3) Pay the embassy fee of $850 pesos, to obtain that same residency.

This week I am even more confused. Once again, the immigration authorities of a certain country are not in agreement, the Embassy says one thing, the Foreign Department in the country says another. And I don't know who to believe. This time, what the Embassy says would make my life a WHOLE LOT easier... but what if I get to said country and the immigration authorities I will have to deal with upon arrival tell me something different?

I am confused. I have a headache. For once I don't know the language of said country well enough to call and yell at them directly (which may or may not help), and that annoys me even more. (yes, I'm a language snob, and I get annoyed at myself for knowing only four. If you think I'm ridiculous, stop reading my blog).

Conclusion:

I'm in a bad mood.

When Murphy wins...

It seems that when one thing starts to go wrong, it's a domino effect, EVERYTHING goes wrong at the same time...

Today I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, after picking up the key to another friend's apartment, since he was going on a trip and leaving me at his place. The stupid alarm didn't go off and I missed both things. When I finally woke up (because I was cold!) and realized I was totally late, I was freaking out and wondering why the alarm hadn't gone off, until I tried to turn on the lights, and they wouldn't turn on! I checked the alarm, and nothing. Touched the heater: cold. Conclusion? There was no power.

I turned on the computer (which luckily runs on batteries!) and realized the wireless internet connections around my house were all up and running, which meant my neighbors had power... Conclusion? My roommates didn't pay the electric bill!!!

I tried to send a txt to my friends to explain why I hadn't showed up, but had run out of credit.

I take my computer to the balcony to check my email, and got an email that says my sort of plans for September might not work out until maybe MARCH!

I take a taxi to go to my friend's house, the one I should've been at 2hrs ago, and the taxi driver takes me around half the city while I was busy sending texts and not paying attention. Of course I yelled at him. He gave me a discount of ONE peso! Huge discount!

I go to Starbucks and get what I usually get, a mocha with extra chocolate and because I'm having a crappy day, an extra shot of Hazelnut which 90% of the time they don't charge me for. This time, not only did they charge me for the hazelnut, they even charged me for the extra mocha!!! Result, instead of paying $13 pesos, I paid $16. In a normal day, I would've complained and yelled at them. Today I don't even have the strength to do so...

Right now I'm at the above mentioned Starbucks, trying to relax, but about to run out of battery because their wall socket doesn't accept my computer plug.

Can this day get any worse????

Dreams, old friends, new friends and moving...

As the title and description of this blog make evident, this is a blog about random thoughts, so it is probably best not to look for a connection between this post and the next, or even between phrases in the same post... it's random!

I had a dream about my wedding, something like 8 years ago. I don't usually remember my dreams, but I remember this one because of one particular thing: when I walked down the aisle and looked up at my husband-to-be, I realized I did not know him. What does that mean? I have a couple of ideas...

After I had that dream, about a year later, I moved to a different country and met many interesting people. Every time I met someone new, I wondered if they were the unknown face from my dream...

The friends I made back then are now old friends. I've made many other friends since then, and they're the "new" friends now who will become old friends with time. But I've stopped wondering if any of my new or old friends are the one from the dream. All except maybe one.

Now I'm at the verge of moving again. Will I move? Should I move?


I already miss my old friends. I don't want to start missing all the new ones. Not so fast. We haven't had enough time together. And they're so amazing!! I don't want to miss them...

But my poor heart has already left... it is wandering somewhere over the atlantic ocean, half way between where I am now and my next destination...