Saudade...

Saudade is a word that only exists in Portuguese. It cannot be correctly translated because no other word (at least to my knowledge, and yes, I have researched it) can convey all the feeling this word carries with it. It means you miss something or someone. But it carries with it a bit of nostalgia... a bit of sadness... a bit of love... a bit of sweet memories...

It's a beautiful word.

The worst thing you can do when you feel that about someone, is think about them, about the happy moments you've spent in their company, or even worse (if that's possible): read what people say about them. Then you'll see through other people's eyes how wonderful that person is, and confirm what you already knew: you miss them terribly!!!

:(

Belonging...

All of us, every single one of us, has the need ingrained in our beings, to belong to something, somewhere, someone. We may try to deny it, to others, to ourselves, try to prove our independence, but the truth is--and here I quote someone wiser than me-- no man is an island and I add: no matter how much he tries to fool himself.


Why am I talking about this?

Maybe is because I'm moving out of my house (yes, once again!) and I'm not sure I want to move into my next house (already found it) because I'm thinking it would be a better use of my money to travel instead of pay rent.

But why is it that the simple thought of not having a house terrifies me?

Strange, isn't it?

I guess the whole "leaving/not leaving" story made my heart fly away to someplace new, and now I don't feel like I belong in the old one. It's hard to leave... but it's even harder to come back when you haven't really left. I guess this Brazilian song says it best: "You're the only one who has the cure for my vice of insisting in missing terribly all that I haven't seen yet."

I definitely have that vice... but haven't found the one who has the cure yet.

Dreams, old friends, new friends and moving...

As the title and description of this blog make evident, this is a blog about random thoughts, so it is probably best not to look for a connection between this post and the next, or even between phrases in the same post... it's random!

I had a dream about my wedding, something like 8 years ago. I don't usually remember my dreams, but I remember this one because of one particular thing: when I walked down the aisle and looked up at my husband-to-be, I realized I did not know him. What does that mean? I have a couple of ideas...

After I had that dream, about a year later, I moved to a different country and met many interesting people. Every time I met someone new, I wondered if they were the unknown face from my dream...

The friends I made back then are now old friends. I've made many other friends since then, and they're the "new" friends now who will become old friends with time. But I've stopped wondering if any of my new or old friends are the one from the dream. All except maybe one.

Now I'm at the verge of moving again. Will I move? Should I move?


I already miss my old friends. I don't want to start missing all the new ones. Not so fast. We haven't had enough time together. And they're so amazing!! I don't want to miss them...

But my poor heart has already left... it is wandering somewhere over the atlantic ocean, half way between where I am now and my next destination...